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so i'm back in my home country for the summer break and it's awesome to see familiar faces, eat great food and think about the last few months. safe to say my eyes has been opened to a whole lot of things, i've grown a little here and there, i've become less patient ( need to get some of that back) and i've decided that this little side of me is nothing to be ashamed of...

a few months ago, i met a guy on the internet, we talked on the phone and things started to pick up really fast despite him saying he wants to take things slow... loooong story short, it just didn't feel right and i wanted to take a step back, mistakes were made and things were said but the bottom line was i wanted out. but he started to threaten me by exposing my secrets and such to people who were dear to me. and of course i was afraid. i mean all my life i've felt like a freak and i've been keeping this under the covers. and now some guy wants to expose my inner most secrets?? talk about being a jerk. but whatever the case. i made a shout out to all my friends explaining the situation i was in, i mean i'd rather give them a heads up and if he did do anything . they wouldn't be caught by surprise. and it's moments like these . you eyes are shifted away from the bad onto the good . people stood by me . friends and family assuring me that everyone has secrets and there's no need to be afraid...

that really lifted my spirits and my moral ... i started to understand that we are all strange and different . that makes us unique. as long as we live a healthy and balanced life. learn to love and accept others. our little kinks are just a small part of us that doesn't have to be hidden away like a dirty secret . i mean . yeah. it's intimate and it is a secret but that's okay ... i know i'm rambling... but it's nice to understand that... also i had 1 whoole week with a good friend of mine who is also a daddy and it was INTENSELY AMAZING . i've never been babied full blown like that for a whole week so holy mother of cheese cake.. but alas, "all good things come to an end."... man how i hate the phrase . but i'm so happy that i had a chance to explore that little part of me. what a freedom to just let loose and enjoy the dominance , the comfort, the spankings , the cuddles, the dressings, the play times :3 sigh.....

hahah man this post is reallly really random . but meh .. i figured i'd write since i had been thinking for the last few months... oh yeah . just to get some feedback from anyone . at one point the guy who was threatening me (with empty threats i forgot to mention) kept on saying how he hope i get therapy when i'm back home cuz he thinks i need some sort of help... sigh .. but yeah i was actually thinking about talking to someone about this kink. and trying to understand where is stemmed from, how to incorporate it into "potential normal relationships" and such. cuz frankly i'm sick of the internet and it doesn't help me grow as a person. i want to because to socialize with people and learn to be myself and be comfortable. and if i do ever find someone whom i'm interested in and who is interested in me, i'd like to get an opinion on how to communicate what i like and such. so yeah . what do you guys think? there's nothing wrong with talking to a professional really , it's just should i spend money on such an experience ? mmmm bloop !

anyway . if you've stuck with me all the way till the end . then here's a little hug *hug*
because man ... what a ramble ...
anyway ! i'm doing good yall and i hope everyone is doing well too!!

lisa
Sean
Personally, I'm glad to see you back Lisa. I loved your blogs, and you seemed like a very interesting person to talk to. It all makes sense now, why you seemed so distressed back a few months ago... I didn't realize it was that bad.
Just to share a little of my experience, I remember when I told my f...
  • June 24, 2012
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Lisa Tan
hey there sean ! thanks for the response and sharing your experience. yeah i was placed in a situation where my mom was really worried about this fellow after someone had informed her of my shout on facebook and so she was pretty much demanding to know just what was going on and just what was he thr...
  • June 25, 2012
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Sean
I can imagine it's very relaxing little miss button ; I think of being a daddy as similar, it just brings you happiness to take care of your little one and give those feelings (Than again that may just be my personality speaking). But I also agree with you, it shouldn't entirely consume your life. I...
  • June 25, 2012
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c95svt50
Well stated Lisa.
  • June 26, 2012
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David Harvey
Aye, never let anyone ruin this for you, it helps define who you are and help keep the stress at bay. Sure there are a few nay-sayers, but real friends and family will never desert you. Also those nay-sayers do not understand because they do not have a similar stress reliever. I hope you never have ...
  • June 28, 2012
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