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can anybody say: Procrastination?

Lisa Tan — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 02:46:04 +0000

sooooo i have been guilty of procrastinating these past 2 days. i did 3 drawings.. really.. 3.. that's all ?? maaaaan trust me i am going to pay for it later when i have to haul my butt to work at triple the speed .. meeeeehhhh

but that aside, i got a job on campus for the spring semester!! woooooo . i can't wait . mainly so that i can earn some molah! then i can go to japan! and wiggle!! totally hyped for summer break. i'm gonna go to japan to meet up with a really good friend and i'm gonna go hooooomeeeeeeeeeeeee. DURIAAANN, MANGOSTTEEEEN, MOOOSSS BURRGEEERRRR. FOOOOOOOOOODDDD
man my mouth is watering already ! but yeah . before that there is a Ton of things to do like move out my my current dorm . figure out what the heck i am going to do about Molly. i would take her home with me but that's not possible. and i can't leave her in an empty house for 3 months... with just a sitter coming in every 2 days. it would firstly cost a fortune and i won't feel safe about that. arrgghh . okay this is my cry for help. does anyone have any advice of suggestions at this point. i don't have much molah since i am just a student, a foreign student at that. so i just need some suggestions that i may not have thought about :c sigh . thank you in advance. honestly this has been stressing me out for a while. I love Molly and i have absolutely no regrets adopting her. but this ia the problem . the whole i don't live in the US, I don't have a car ... arrgghh ... and they don't allow pets on trains or buses . so how the heck am i supposed to bring her to a friends place you know ??

eeeekkk i know i just went off on a complete tangent .but pleeeease, if you have any useful thoughts, let me knooow :< nods
okay i'm going to go nowww

pulls hair
love lisa

moreee randomness on a sunday

Lisa Tan — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 16:51:10 +0000

so just went to the gym and yes i do feel awfully good!
but still i've not lost any weight, which is terribly frustrating :c i just hope i'm gaining muscle mass if anything. that aside, BOSTON, GOODWILL OUTLET. awesome stuff.

though as first glance it's pretty shady and chaotic, if you put in the time and effort you are bound to make at least 1 amazing find. i got some things, some less amazing than others but i got 2 pretty intenesly awesome jackets, one from ralph lauren for 1.50 each ... wait . did you say .. 1.50 ? for a Ralph Lauren jacket?? .. why yes.. yes i did... and it fit you ?? why yes. perfectly actually. and it's in good condition. hmm let me check. oh look the tag is still on. HOLY MOTHER OF CHEESE CAKE .

cough yes. excuse my totally justified spaz attack ! :3 so yeah that was really fun. and of course i bought a whole lot of other stuff with an intention to resale on etsy ! they best place to sell vintage finds >:3

so today, i'm going to make little houses. and take pictues of them on my body and draw them .. yes i know, it sounds ridiculously tedious . but alas, tis the life of the artist . do lots of tedious useless things in hopes of making something really really pretty. it's fun though. really fun . i think everyone should just go and have some fun. :/ i'm going to eat now. woosh !

um i'm done ? yes i am!! woo!

love lisa !!

Heartsong

Sean — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 12:20:01 +0000

The music of our hearts is the life that we live. It guides our choices, and negotiates our desires. Don't fight the rhythm's attraction, don't try to mediate it's direction. You cannot advise the melody or predict where it may inflect, so don't fade out before the final verse. Don't settle until you reach the top of the charts.

thrift stores are cra cra !

Lisa Tan — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 05:22:42 +0000

So! recently i have developed a strong love for thrift stores, i have always loved flea markets and such . but back in singapore, there are no stores like savers or goodwill where you can hunt for treasures for less that 5 bucks. so yea! i have been going crazy at a savers near my school and found some pretty awesome sweaters!! woooo also i am able to shop at the kids section and i found a really cute light pink unicorn t shirt . 2 bucks? HELL YEAAAHH~~

haha and tomorrow i shall expand on my expedition and explore the bowels of Goodwill OUTLET in boston where i hear everything goes for 1.50 ... holy chicken pie. i can't wait to see what i'm able to find! wheeeeeeee !

yes, i know .. this is just waaaayy too random. but meeehh !
haha okay i'm off
lisa

It's okay

Lisa Tan — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 05:17:11 +0000

Though I am one person, at times I am stronger than the me in certain points in the past and the future, so let me take advantage of my temporary strength and voice out to say it's okay...

to feel alone, because it's just a feeling and you never really are. and if you really do, drink hot chocolate, hot soup, take a hot shower. hot stuff melts away the loneliness like the sun melts away the ice.

to feel homesick, because it's not really a sickness, thank goodness,

to not be the best person at Tetris, because if you were, i would be worried about you.. what are you doing with your life ?!!

to not be the best artist in the world ever, because there is no point comparing your art to others, love what you discover daily and you'll never cease to grow.

to desire to be loved, everyone does, and in time it'll come.

to fall, there are always rocks and cracks on the ground, it's bound to happen. just pick yourself up and keep on moving.

to make mistakes, because are you a robot ? i didn't think so.

to be not as pretty as that other girl, because as corny as it sounds, it's whats on the inside that REALLY counts.

to be lacking in good attributes, because attributes can be adopted.

to be you, because you are you and you are one of a kind.

I know this doesn't apply to everyone but i'm sure everyone can relate to at least one of my "it's okay".
This world is tough and we are all just people but as people we have to be strong enough to rough out life's storms, and if you're having a bad day, i'm not going to say, "i'm sorry to hear that" because my pity won't do you any good, but instead know that it's okay, as long as you are breathing, as long as you have an inch of strength, hope, love left in your heart, it's okay, you're okay. i hope that i'm not sounding overly corny, but if anything, this blog is just a sounding board for me to come back to if i ever feel not okay and hopefully i'll be able to get myself up ~~ yeshhh.
i hope you have have a great weekend !

love lisa ~

Recidivism Reduction Strategies and my Crazy thoughts.

Sean — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 04:05:03 +0000

"Our mission is to improve public safety through... Recidivism reduction strategies". < An excerpt from the IST class I took today. I think it is a custody oriented statement. (Custody = Prison Guards).
How did I get here? Prison guards? What am I doing in prison?!
O.O
Ever since I became a nurse, it has been a dream of mine to become a traveling nurse. Just didn't expect to end up working in Prison Healthcare... I can't complain about this assignment. I mean, the work is fairly easy for a RN and the pay is great.
So... They have been covering the topic of sexual harassment, and Prison Rape. As the correctional officer explained our expected roles in these situations, I noticed that my mind couldn't help but wonder... How long would I last as an inmate? What if I decided to rob a bank. How much, and how many times would I regret it? While contemplating my possible incarcerated future, the educator flipped to a slide explaining the characteristic of an inmate at the highest risk of being raped. It was a nicely arranged description of me... Very unsettling to say the least :/

Well I'm trying to figure out how to write a blog. Maybe I should write a story... or journal my thoughts... Meh, nobody wants to hear THOSE crazy things. Guess I'm just not a very interesting guy. IDK but I know I should at least talk about SOMEThing ABDL, so here goes (I apoligise for the wait).
Anyways, so I arrived back at my hotel, and noticed a protective draw sheet on the bed, under the bottom flat sheet. So... was that a normal protective measure that they take for everyone, or did they catch on (I am now going to make a poll so go vote :o)

random random random ~

Lisa Tan — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 21:20:29 +0000

soooo i think i ate too much.. ugh..

these few days, i've been getting into the habit of working out in the gym for about 30 mins every morning, and i feel good about that but that doesn't do me any good if i keep snacking :c mweeehh darn you sour cream and onion potato chiiiippss *waves fists*. i'm trying to keep my weight down and loose a little bit of jelly. so in a month or so, i hope to be 115 lbs, 4 pounds doesn't sound like much but if you love rice like i do.. it is a challenge indeed u_u. nodnod .

am still drawing my butt of as well. am currently working a series of houses on people... yes.. i swear it looks cooler than it sounds. but i wanted to practice drawing architecture as well as figuring out new ways to draw the body, it's been fun so far but i've been lazzzyyyyy. i think i need a spanking or something to get me motivated. shifty eyes*

sigh. oh well. and yeahhh button is still here but hasn't been out in forever, which is such a bummer you know ? she did get to play in the snow which is good but i guess she's in need of a good cuddle session ahaha. hmm anything elseeeee meow meow .
oh yeah!

so last week i went to new york... for 6 hours... which is pretty pathetic but it was just like a museum trip thing. but it being free and easy, me and friends did more eating that art viewing. * guilty giggle*
that day, it also happened to be FREEZING and that day i also happened to decide that i wanted to dress pretty. so instead of wearing my thick, clumsy-looking, terribly warm snow boots, i wore a thin pair of leather shoes, GO ME! because 2 hours into walking in snow and slush , i could not feel my feet, no, it was actually really painful and i though i was gonna lose all of my toes :C warrrgghh . but still, new york was really pretty. i wanna go back and be properly prepared for anything! hahah
okay that's it. as random as it was, i hope you enjoyed reading about some of my paaaiiinn

love lisa

Daddy Long Legs

Sean — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 08:40:14 +0000

So, I've been getting into this habit lately. I get home from my job and put on a diaper, and get on my computer to chat with my friends. Wear them till the next morning until I 'grow up' and go to work. Almost wet the bed one morning, when I broke my late tradition. Won't be doing that again. Anyways, Hi, my name is Sean gonna start blogging whenever the F I feel like. Hi.
Had an interesting day yesterday. Almost got caught... not that I would care much if I did (Not for the sake of Voyeurism or carelessness, which could both be classified as sexual misconduct under the right conditions, but because I really just don't find it embarrassing). Had to go to the laundromat to dry my clothes, so I brought the clothes in and put them in the dryer and then took my diaper into the bathroom and put it on. Lots of people washing clothes could easily see me carrying a diaper... although I don't think they did. Anyways, life continues.
Summing up my life in the past few weeks as I have begun to embrace the lifestyle I have been a part of (hardly) for the past 10 years or so. Really... just now starting to get into it.
Since then, in a nutshell I have been mentored in the "Little-Family roles", dls, abs, etc. I knew enough...just needed to find myself. Made lots of good friends on DS and WW. Fun. Yeah... cool ok... Well, I'm a daddy. I thought I was clever to try and term myself after a pirate... but I was told by a very creative little girl that I am to be called Daddy Long Legs. Ok. Fine. Whatever. She gets this one. (AS if I had a choice - The name stuck).
Ewwwww what a boring blog... I know I had some goods to drop... but my schizophrenic memory decided to hide from the government for now. O well... you will get it in anime style flashbacks to create back-story for my future blogs. See? Production value and everything.
I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Faye-- (Not mine: Taking it)

ok

The Joker — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 18:47:06 +0000

I have just written a blog

catching the moment

Lisa Tan — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 23:59:08 +0000

There are points in life that will strike an individual to be magical, awesome, breathtaking, unforgettable, and i think it is safe to say that last night came pretty close to all of the above.

so my friend Hania and I were working on our school work together and just enjoying each others company, it had been too calm a night but then suddenly out of no where , i saw that it was snowing. like really really realllly snowing. of course i had to shout out the window and act like a total fool but it really want SNOWING. so both of us decided to call it a night for working and went to call out 2 of our other really good friends, free and eric. it took some persuasion to get them out of their room at 11 at night to go play in the snow but they finally came around and we all just went CRAZY in the snow, i had my first snowball fight and ran around like a kid. it was a-ma-zing!!!!

The of course Eric claims that we need to go out of our dorm campus and roll around in the street and it was just breathtakingly beautiful, at this point nothing had been plough. all the college kids were still indoors, and i felt such excitement having my feet set foot on pure fresh snow, we just ran and ran and threw snowballs at each other and ran and ran, and we ended up in the park, it was BEAAAUUTTIIFULL . all the paths were covered, the snow still falling, it was like i was in a totally different place. we of course had to build a snow man and it was of course the best snow man in the world, complete with a huge stick penis , pubic hair and a pair of balls, we are art students, what can i say... hahahah but it was epic. and we lay down in the snow covered field and watch birds fly .. lotsa crows . finally, we had to call it a night, we walked back, and hugged and parted and i crashed completely after which. ...

I'm so happy though that i had the chance to create such a beautiful memory, i'm so happy that i have a group of friends who have my back and love me for who i am, i'm so happy that we ran out that night because the next day, everything had changed and the moment was gone , but we caught it. and i'm so happy. so i just had to share, i know it's random and my words could never do that moment justice but all i can end with is i'm so happy. so now, it's a friday night , time to chill out and watch a movie WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO . wiggle wiggle dance dance *

hope you guys have an awesome weekend !
LOOOve lisa

my only memory of you

Lisa Tan — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 03:15:26 +0000

my only memory of feeling close to my dad was when he'd let me ride on his shoulder,
i remember that when i was young and i was tired, i would to go my mom and say. "carry me?"
and she would tell me that she was too tired and told me to ask my dad,
and i would go to him and say " carry me?"
and he would always pick me up and let me ride on his shoulders,
i remember what he smelled like, and how it felt to grip on to his hair and feel like i was the tallest person on earth. i loved that .
dad never said no to me, if i needed some extra money, if i wanted to do something, if i got a bad grade he never got mad. and i used to think that if mom and dad got divorced i would go with dad because he never yelled at me or hit me.
but as i got older, i grew to understand that dad didn't care about me. i never talked to him, he never talked to me, we never talked ... and sometimes, its hard to even look at him. in the car, the awkwardness is just overwhelming. and i wish i knew him, i wish i could opened up to him and laugh with him ...

21 years now, and now that i'm studying in america in a good art school,
it's the first time i've heard my mom tell me that he's proud of me...
but he can never tell me that directly...
but that's okay... i just hope in time, we'll be able to fix what went wrong and maybe i'll have new memories to cherish.

...

my two cents

Lisa Tan — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 06:48:00 +0000

to all guys, this isn't a complaint nor is it "bitching"
if anything, it's just my opinion and my two cents to help you understand a few things.
if i offend anyone, please note, it is not my intention but if i do so, please accept my apologies in advance.

we are all part a of community that mainly involves diapers, a desire to mess in them, a desire to regress and so forth. That being said, we are in an environment that is fairly "fake", by that i mean virtual, one that is not real or tangible. And so i have always felt that there was a need to be extremely real and down to earth about who i am, way past my LG side. as that is just a part of me...it's not all of Me.

So I as an individual make an effort to be real, in order to attract real people and give a sense that i'm not just a chick into diapers, i'm a person with ambitions and goals, i hurt and cry and feel and extreme sense of otherness at times, i love, long for and am passionate about things in my life. and i want you to see that before you see the LG, i want you to want to learn about different pieces of me and through that have real, tangible relationships created.

Having said all this, it frustrates me when someone talks to me for the first time and the only thing on their mind is if i like to wet or poop or touch myself or whatever, it hurts me that that's the only thing that matters and it angers me that after my attempts to be true to myself, my worth is placed on those raw, personal aspects.

to lay it down clearly, i feel it is important for you guys, everyone, to understand that we need to return to the roots of real conversation and a real desire to get to know someone. Not just to seek a cheap thrill of dirty talk because we are so much bigger than that! so please, if i may be to bold to say, if you want to converse with me, don't even mention anything about abdl in the first conversation. take that out of your mind. and maybe you'll find something bigger than that. This is of course not to say that they rest of me is brilliant and awesome, rather it's to say you'll actually learn something real about me, both the good and the bad.

So that's that, i hope to hear what you guys think !
much love, Lisa

whhhyy isss itt sooo coolldd??

Lisa Tan — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 23:41:15 +0000

oh yeah, because it is winter, and it is cold in winter,
but the thing is, if there is no snow i don't want it to be cold, but if there is snow and it's freezing then at least it's pretty.

so i'm not used to the weather here, windy, finger numbing, icy rain. in singapore, it's just hot and humid. simple and easy, of course i can't wear pretty sweaters and everything but hey, can't have it all right? but it's days like these i just want to cuddle up in daddys arms and have some hot chocolate. maybe watch a movie and have a jolly good time. because what other way is there to spend indoors when it's too cold outside.

meh, and now i have to rush back to night drawing. oh yeah, and it's the LAST DAY OF DRAWING MARATHON . just 2 more hours and i can proudly proclaim that i have survived it, charcoal in my nose and ears and everywhere else and all! whahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha
but till then, it's back to the drawing board. haha .. i'm so funny...

Thinking

Lisa Tan — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 04:13:01 +0000

sometimes, i like to think, and try to understand something that i may never truly understand.
i guess i like knowing who i am, because i can never truly know anyone in this world.
i am many things, i'm an artist, i am hot tempered, i am shy, i am awkward, i am understanding, i am silly... i have a little girl inside of me...

why though. why can't i just be like that girl across from me. why can't i just desire a normal relationship... people say, well that's boring. but at the same time... it's safe... the chances of getting hurt, rejected, feeling confused is so much less, while the chances of finding someone compatible is some much higher.. but that aside. i am who i am. is there any reason denying it any longer? 21 years trying to figure that out and now. maybe... i'm okay ..

i'm okay with being a child, i alright with being a little more naive, i'm fine with needed a father figure in my life to keep me strong and help me grow, i'm happy to be someone who understands that i'm different but aren't we all. we're all made up of skin, flesh and bones, we all hurt and rejoice, we all struggle and we all hope to conquer but all out paths and all that is on the inside of us is different.
i'm different. and i suppose i don't owe anyone an explanation why.. not even myself.

21 years.. i hope i find you soon.. because there's so much i want to share and let out and let go off. there's so much i want to learn and want to teach, there's so much i want to experience and encounter. but i'll leave it to God and His time and in the meanwhile... i'll just be thinking.

Malisa

drawing marathon

Lisa Tan — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 02:37:46 +0000

its not joke. when they say drawing marathon, they really mean DRAWING MARATHON.
so for wintersession i wanted to really improve on my drawing skills and break the boundaries that i had set for myself, and to do that, i needed to join the 6 credit course called drawing marathon. Of course i knew it was going to be tough and tiring but man. it was reaaallly reaaaaaalllly tiring.
we draw from 9 am to 9 pm with 2 breaks for lunch and dinner but that still leaves a solid 10 hour drawing session that runs for 2 weeks before the 4 week independant marathon starts which will be a little harder i guess, just because the teacher won't be there to guide and push us. but none the less, i can't wait to see the fruit but that also means that button won't have any time to come out. Daddy, where are youuuuuuu?? i need a lap to sit on to tell about my day a shoulder to cry on when i think it's too hard. for now i can only hug mr monkey. sigh.

oh well, it'll come in time. but for now i'll just tell you guys or just let loose words float on the internet and pretend someones actually listening hahahahh .. ha.. ha..
i'm going to sleep ;_____;