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Fear, is a horrible feeling. For some, it's something that passes with ease, you can shrug it off and normall I am that way too but lately, fear has become crippling. I hold so much fear now and I don't know why. It's maddening and frustrating, I feel completely helpless now where as I used to feel as though I could do well ALMOST anything. Come on, I knew I had limitations, I know I was never a "superman" ya know? But lately, it's been crippling. I fear the emptiness inside. I fear my end drawing closer, I fear whatever may be after it. I fear the lonlieness that I try to ignore. I fear being in crowds or out and about anymore. I feel so lost, with no idea of whats going on now and the worst part is, I don't know why. I mean, maybe if I had been given some bad news from my physical earlier in the year okay yeah but I got a clean bill of health. Lately, I've been having worse breathing issues, those brought on by panic/anxiety attacks from out of nowhere. Again, no known cause, no traumatic events lately or when it all started. I mean, nothing really happened that should have triggered all of this and yet here I am. Sitting here, in fear, for no reason. Maybe it's a side effect from depression from being alone for so long, maybe it's all the crap I've put my body through over the years finally catching up, maybe it's the side effect of who the fuck knows. All I know is that, I am miserable. I don't know what the hell is wron,I don't know what to do, I know jack shit.
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